Monday 28 December 2009

Fitness First

Grab two girlfriends or flamboyant gayfriends and get in shape for summer with this:



Sweat it out slow.

Friday 25 December 2009

All I Want For Christmas Is.... ?

Wow. Two posts in one day. I told you Christmas is always uneventful for me.
I've been thinking of the gifts I would have liked to receive today. My mother usually makes me choose my own birthday gift (alongside other gifts which she posts to me because I'm always, always away from home). She knows how fussy I am. To be honest, the best non self-picked gifts I have received are from Hat. Tis true. But ah, I digress.


Funny how at the end of 2009, it has become apparent to me that my list of 'wants' has shrunk considerably. So, my Noel list is short and sickly sweet. Here we go:

1. Home. I want to go home, even if it's just for a day. I miss the comfort of my mother, brother and my dearest friends. I miss the sticky humidity, my cats, the leisure of never having to do any house work. I miss the countless nights with my closest friends, which would end just before dawn at some random greasy food joint..with iced lemon tea served in the most unhygienic manner but more importantly- every night concluded with smiles plastered all round.

2. Okay, if home doesn't work out, I want Hat to live with me here again. Actually, this tops my list.


3. A cat. A cute, congenial, fluffy one. Preferably black with green eyes.

4. Jellybones reciprocity. Only hat will understand this.

5. Good grades and a good job here next year.

Too bad you can't box and wrap up most of these things. Too bad I didn't get any. Oh, well.


Merry merry.

25:12

Christmas morning...

has never meant much to me.Red stockings, tinsel and tassel, eggnog, mistletoe, mince pies, mulled wine. These things never furbished my December days.

Merriment is supposed to lace the air but when I gazed out of my window this morning, the streets were stripped bare of people. Fog engulfed buildings in the near distance. And even now, inching in closer towards the PM, not a sound is heard. Cheer is trapped indoors today, where the doors are locked by the warmth of familial love. Must be nice.

Happy Christmas, everyone.

Wednesday 16 December 2009

Post-vain





During one of the many long nights I have spent with a person who has somehow become consistent nightly company for me, I was asked a terribly common question : How would you describe yourself?

I honestly couldn't answer the question. I think in my time alone coupled with time spent with such a diverse range of individuals with different upbringings, ideologies, interests and principles has resulted only in the confusion (or worse yet the decadence) of any sense of a core personality. So, who am I? I'm a million different people; who ever you want me to be; who ever I need to be at any given time.

In the spirit of reciprocity and conversation, I asked him to describe himself. He said : post-vain, unhappy, different. Hardly helpful.. apart from the first description, the others are too broad to warrant meaning one should identify with so specifically. I had never heard the term 'post-vain', so I probed. He told me that in his younger days, he was unacceptably vain- spent too much time getting ready, wore the right clothes, charmed girls effortlessly, took it to heart when strangers on the street did not notice him..that sort of male vanity which makes you sick in your mouth. He then went on to say that he's moved on from those days. To be fair, it would appear that he was being honest because if you saw him, you would think there really is little, if any, pride attached to his appearance..I always hate what he's wearing. Almost ironically, this also makes me a bit sick in my mouth. He said 'post-vain' is when you've had enough of worldly beauty- you realise that you've been trying so hard to impress others with your physical appearance that you become less and less comfortable in your own skin. So he succumbed to the rebellious 16 year old solution (only 10 years too late), by cursing society and conformity. By becoming his own person, dressing the way he likes, and learning to not let his degree of attractiveness to the rest of the world affect him.


Utter. BULLSHIT. It couldn't be more obvious to my eyes that he's making a conscious effort to physically emulate Brandon Boyd. Yeah, you're about a decade and a bit too late, honey.


The moral of the story is : never describe yourself to anyone. Suspicion and cynicism are ripe in our time and age.



Wednesday 9 December 2009

Who believes in fate?

I'm wary of it. To me it's something of an indefinable deceptive force, which we succumb to when we stumble upon intriguing coincidences, which we then find ourselves wanting to attach some meaning of 'higher order' to...the word 'fate' being the most convenient. Blasphemous, I know. Blame it on life experience. Skepticism renews itself on a monthly basis here, with a more pointed prong. It shreds all romanticism, the concept of fate included.


I was at a point in life where I had given up hope on not only love, but sadly enough, even companionship. I had resigned to the nightly inevitability of retiring to an empty bed. And then everything changed. My advice to you is : always have enough cigarettes on you so that you don't end up being a complete tramp by asking the person sitting closest to the door if you could have a cigarette.


Tuesday 8 December 2009

two thousand and dead

december is here and 2009 will come to an end. its been an ok year. nothing stimulating nothing exciting nothing to reminisce about. i just want it to be over quicker. the end of the year comes with another pointless, repeated new year's resolutions and i only have two; to be less like me (positive/motivated/less judgmental/livelier) and to go away alone anywhere if only for a week.

actually i feel bad for saying this year has been void of memorable moments. there are loads im sure but just like pictures i hate looking back and remind myself of things that have happened. and isnt it human nature to not remember the good things and only dwell on the bad stuff (or only us?). that is why i prefer looking forward than thinking about the past. ahh see positivity! im already starting my resolution.

p/s: i wish that certain people dont talk to me about their love life because ... i dont give a fuck (even if we're family). and i never know what/how to reply because im afraid i will offend them if i ask too much or too little. i also feel like they're trying to validate their love life by telling other people (always me). its strange how they never want to make conversations when they dont have a lovelife. i feel so ... used. bah no its not directed to anyone close to me, clearly.

the forever song,


xx,
hat