Post-vain

During one of the many long nights I have spent with a person who has somehow become consistent nightly company for me, I was asked a terribly common question : How would you describe yourself?

I honestly couldn't answer the question. I think in my time alone coupled with time spent with such a diverse range of individuals with different upbringings, ideologies, interests and principles has resulted only in the confusion (or worse yet the decadence) of any sense of a core personality. So, who am I? I'm a million different people; who ever you want me to be; who ever I need to be at any given time.

In the spirit of reciprocity and conversation, I asked him to describe himself. He said : post-vain, unhappy, different. Hardly helpful.. apart from the first description, the others are too broad to warrant meaning one should identify with so specifically. I had never heard the term 'post-vain', so I probed. He told me that in his younger days, he was unacceptably vain- spent too much time getting ready, wore the right clothes, charmed girls effortlessly, took it to heart when strangers on the street did not notice him..that sort of male vanity which makes you sick in your mouth. He then went on to say that he's moved on from those days. To be fair, it would appear that he was being honest because if you saw him, you would think there really is little, if any, pride attached to his appearance..I always hate what he's wearing. Almost ironically, this also makes me a bit sick in my mouth. He said 'post-vain' is when you've had enough of worldly beauty- you realise that you've been trying so hard to impress others with your physical appearance that you become less and less comfortable in your own skin. So he succumbed to the rebellious 16 year old solution (only 10 years too late), by cursing society and conformity. By becoming his own person, dressing the way he likes, and learning to not let his degree of attractiveness to the rest of the world affect him.


Utter. BULLSHIT. It couldn't be more obvious to my eyes that he's making a conscious effort to physically emulate Brandon Boyd. Yeah, you're about a decade and a bit too late, honey.


The moral of the story is : never describe yourself to anyone. Suspicion and cynicism are ripe in our time and age.